New here, 5 year old daughter

I have a long story and probably wont post all of it, but we started having problems with my daughter being agressive about the time she turned 4. this went on for a long time and we saw a counselor and then changed to another one because as young parents we were treated like crap. so after more than a year we were refered to the shrink who immediately after knowing my daughter for 2 minutes said ADHD. things got worse and we took her to a childrens hospital who medicated her. i was looking for a second opinion and some help but they said lets do meds. so we reluctantly agreed. we keep going in circles with the meds and nothing really seems to work very well. shes not showing many ADHD signs and i dont agree with the diagnosis and we're having problems with our shrink who wants to put her on ritlin. i refuse to fill the script. and take her off the only medication that has even remotely worked in the past year. gabbys getting in trouble right now. the shrink mentioned aspergers once but never looked into it. now i look into it and between the past 2 years she has met every symptom and a teacher at school told me his story w/o even knowing my daughter and they are so similar. so we're going to see a psychologist, prob stop the meds and stop seeing the shrinnk we are seeing now, and try to get a correct diagnosis. she has problems with inappropriate behavior, screaming, spitting, getting mad at us, sensitivity to sounds, etc, problem making friends or at least having very many, and so much more. sometimes things are fine... and she's super smart. her favorite pastime is to read. yes she learned to read at age 4. i just need to find a support system and make some new friends who know what im going through because some days are such hell. she has no problems in school or with anyone besides us. we dont know how to appropraitely discipline her and my husband veiws her behavior as disrespectful then gets angry himself. its a cycle i can barely stand to live with. so thats me, and us. so glad to find this group. daughter will be 6 in april

Sara